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The truth is I'm terrified.

He's 9. My baby boy, my only son is 9. Our state, Texas, was among the first to re-open. I don't have to tell you the effect that has had on our economy. We're knee-deep in COVID-19 cases yet "sChOoL iS oPeNiNg iN tHe FaLL." Professional organizations have postponed entire seasons; churches can't convene but SOMEHOW it is safe for my only son to go to school? First of all, kids are fucking gross. How are you going to get them to social distance? To not touch one another.  Hell, to not touch their own faces?

I got one kid. No spare, no replacement.

I'm trying to make some shit shake with this one, ya know?! Constantly reminding myself to feed him and make sure he wears deodorant (did y'all know 9-year-olds STINK like this?) but y'all treating him like he's expendable. HE'S NOT! Not to me, anyway.

Here's the thing: I'm Active Duty. In layman's terms, I work for the United States Army as my full-time job. I volunteered for that. I do what is asked of me to the best of my ability and I don't complain. I understand what is expected of me. What I don't understand is being made to choose. How do I choose between the job that I do and the safety of my son? When childcare centers and schools re-open I don't get the liberty of saying he's not going back.

Do I keep food in my son's mouth at the expense of coronavirus in his body?

I'm not sure what the future holds, but I do know that I want to continue to hold my baby.

Stay safe, please.


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